5 Keys to Healing a Broken Heart

The things that break our hearts cut deep and sometimes we may feel that life will never be the same again. I would never want to trivialize the pain you're experiencing with easy steps to numb the pain. However, I do want to empower you in the midst of the pain. I can do this because I know what it means to have a broken heart. After losing my mother as a young woman and going through a painful divorce, I know that what I am telling you in this article is true. You do not have to let this time of pain devastate and destroy you. Maybe your life will never be the same again, but that doesn't mean it can't be good again.

Life will always have its ups and downs, wins and losses. Learning how to grow through the down times and losses is imperative to our spiritual and emotional health. Ultimately, God is the one who heals our hearts, but there are things you can do to cooperate with the healing God longs to bring you. Here are five keys to healing a broken heart along with promises from God’s Word to meditate on.

1. Hang onto Hope

Whenever we face crisis and heartbreak the first thing we lose is perspective. Pain is like a narrow canyon with twists and turns. The walls close in around you and you can't see the way forward or out. It is important that you not let yourself be convinced there is no way out or that the canyon will go on like this forever. Don't lose your hope that you will make it through and that God will bring you into a beautiful spacious place once again. There is always hope because God is always good. If we trust Him, He can use the things that have brought us the most pain to bring something beautiful into our lives.

“He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me” (Psalm 18:17-19; NIV).

2. Pray Authentic Prayers

It can be hard to pray when our emotions are overwhelming us. It is normal to ask why God is allowing something to painful to happen. Expressing our emotions, even anger, and asking the hard questions are an important part of prayer. Even people in the Bible prayed like this. Many of the Psalms are authentic prayers asking God why. God can handle whatever emotions you are feeling and questions you have. It's not about praying the right words but about being honest with God who already knows you inside out anyway.

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me” (Psalm 13).

3. Rest

Everyone needs a little distraction from the hard things that life throws our way. While we don't want to check out completely (eventually we have to deal with the hard things) it is ok to take some time to regroup, rest, and do something that takes your mind off the painful circumstances. You will be able to think clearer and find strength to face the pain after you take the time you need to rest.

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge” (Psalm 62:5-8).

4. Ask for Help

Do you find it hard to ask for help because you're afraid of appearing weak or being rejected? You're not alone. Many of us struggle with asking for help when we need it the most. Consider changing the way you think about asking for help. First, asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, but of strength. It takes strength to swallow your pride and admit you need someone else. Secondly, you could actually be helping someone by asking for their help. Many people want to be able to make a difference in the world and helping each other is the primary way we can do that. Wouldn't you be willing to help if someone asked you?

“Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:13-16).

5. Find someone else to help.

There is something about choosing to help others, even when you're going through something painful yourself, that helps to heal your own brokenness. Maybe it helps us appreciate what blessings we still have or maybe it just helps get our minds off our own pain. It says in the Bible to "do for others what you would have them do for you" (Matthew 7:12, NIV). Some call this the golden rule because by following it you are actually doing everything the Lord would ask of you. Your obedience to the Lord in this way, even when it is the most difficult, will lead to opportunities for you to be blessed because of how you have given to others.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).